By Sunny Cooper, M.S., M.Ed., Diplomate in Asian Bodywork Therapy (NCCAOM)
In the Holistic Paradigm, health is about much more than just the absence of a diagnosable disease. It encompasses the whole person, and how one has integrated the lessons of her/his life. In this article, there are some ideas about the way we use life's experiences to make ourselves into a "healed" or healthy individual.
I have included four areas for consideration:
POWER
RESPONSIBILITY
WISDOM
LOVE
1. POWER- (SELF-EMPOWERMENT)
The development of personal power is an archetypal theme in every person's life, and follows a predictable pattern. See the blog entry on Archetypes.
Symbolic Power:
First we learn to associate power with external symbols such as money, possessions, social status, control of others, approval and attention from others, titles, awards, and degrees.
Focus on external objects is indicative of what is lacking internally; this is the "mirror effect".
Examples:
Using money for power relates to one's self-value system;
Using objects for power relates to how well-formed one's identy is;
Personal dominance used for power reveals one's inner inferiority;
Titles, awards, and degrees are used to elevate one's self esteem and prove value or worth to others through accomplishments and achievements;
Social or political status used for power show ignorance or innattention to the concept of unity or connectedness with all.
The stronger one's obsession is with these power symbols indicates greater lack of authentic power. Other indicators of lack of personal power include criticism, gossip, devaluing other's opinions, always having to be right, confrontational attitude, and domineering in work or personal relationships.
Physical symptoms which reflect chronic attatchment to external power symbols, or seeking self-empowerment through external gratification without satisfactions include ulcers, hypertension, and migraines.
Individuals who chronically have their personal power negated or diminished through the actions of others, who find the world a threatening place, who frequently feel intimidated, or who are being used or taken advantage of by "powerful others" are more prone to developing cancer. See the blog entries on the Archetype of the Victim.
Authentic Power:
As one develops a deep regard for his/her own self esteem, personal dignity, living in harmony with others and with nature, self-love, and love of all living things, he/she approaches the level of authentic power. Here there is no need to dominate or control others, money and material objects become tools for improving living conditions, education, healing for all; and genuine leadership emerges. Unfortunately, most people never attain a measure of authentic power in their lives, although serious illness, financial ruin, ending of relationships, and other life crises can often be the catalyst for a person to start to develop authentic power.
2. RESPONSIBILITY
The second major challenge is developing a willingness to take responsibility for oneself, including quality of life, attitudes, failures and successes, and for one's own health. As a person develops responsibility there is no longer any need for blaming other people or circumstances for what is happening in one's life.
When a person makes a committment to assume total responsibility for everything that has happened or will happen to him/her, he/she also must be willing to develop the courage and honesty to make decisions and take actions which will lead to the desired outcomes. Taking responsibility means there are no more excuses, no more blaming or "guilt trips", and the person moves to a position of authority in his/her own life. This step necessitates the release of victim consciousness, and moves the person into the Causal position in cause-and-effect relationships.
Before learning responsibility, person is in position of EFFECT of external causes:
Cause =======> EFFECT
After learning responsibility, person is in position of CAUSE of events in his life:
CAUSE =======> Effect
Each of these life challenges has a "shadow side", and some people get into trouble with responsibility by nominating themselves to "be responsible" for other people's quality of life, attitudes, and so on. To be overly responsible can get into issues of control and domination, and can deny another person the opportunity to develop his own personal power and responsibility. The development of responsibility is often triggered by an event involving disillusionment or betrayal by the people or institutions one has depended upon to make decisions and govern one's life.
3. WISDOM
Wisdom is the willingness and awareness to learn from all situations of life. This type of experiential learning leads to the development of a "larger picture" of life, and is a key to breaking the cycles of repeated mistakes or decisions in life. Developing wisdom requires the person to learn to "step outside" of him/her self to observe the overall dynamics of the situation.
A wise question to ask in every situation, especially unpleasant or uncomfortable ones, is "What is this experience teaching me?" Developing wisdom is another component in releasing victim consciousness, bitterness, anger, frustration, and fears. Failure to learn the lesson of wisdom keeps one's life from moving forward, keeps one stuck in increasingly more dramatic examples of the lesson that's being missed, and is the root of many disharmonies and illnesses.
4. LOVE
Disharmonies involving inability to learn the lessons of love include adopting substitutes for love, such as material possessions and powerfully emotional situations, or manipulating others with "love" ("I'm doing this for your own good"; "I'm doing this because I love you"; "if I didn't love you I wouldn't....").
Loneliness, resentment over rejection, fear of being loved, fear of NOT being loved, repeated disappointments in personal relationships, and guilt over not fulfilling the expectations of others are all patterns which we fall into as we learn the lessons of love. Heartbreak, hurt feelings, loneliness, feelings of not belonging and detatchment are all indications that this lesson is still in progress.
Every human being learns these lessons through three great contexts in our lives: Health, Relationships, and Purpose.
Have a massage!
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