We all have the "Victim" archetype. Its part of our programming for learning to accept and manage our personal power appropriately. And for many of us, we have accepted our power and this has caused our "Victim" to retreat, but it is always there, behind the scenes, waiting for us to fall into a weak moment. Here's a note from a massage therapist who beautifully describes his awareness that the Victim is lurking.

"I was not surprised to find that my lowest ranking archetype was the
victim. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am overly optimistic,
truly joyful and trusting to a fault. These are the benefits or advantages
of having very little "Victim" in me both personally and professionally.

I enjoy life and see the good parts of it readily. I have an innate trust in
the fact that everyone‚s life will, eventually, always work out for the
best, no matter what the circumstances are.

This must be great for my clients, for I truly enjoy my work, expect success and positive outcomes and
trust that they are doing the right thing by seeking me.

Although my victim ranks low, I realize that I was once a victim and that
it still lurks within me and will be profound in some clients. Personally
and professionally I must use caution in regard to settling, being too independent or
hiding one's own vulnerability; all of which I am guilty of.

I admit to having settled (for less than I am capable of, or deserve) both personally and professionally in the past and this kept me in these relationships even though I felt unhappy and unfulfilled. I
spent time and energy thinking something would change, but only in vain.

As an Aquarian/Victim, my independence has kept me from professional and
personal support for many situations. Hiding my vulnerability causes others
blindness to more soft, tender and compassionate aspects of my being.

I have tried to create better balance with the Victim archetype via the
introspection methods of spiritual development, body work and now
counseling. This helps to acknowledge the past without having it effect the
future. Also, it helps to accept the concept of interdependence- easily
overlooked.

In conclusion, this means I must: continue to remind myself to
allow others to help me or be close to me without fear of injury,
consequence or hurt and honor my vulnerability. For it is this that fosters
trust."

Tags: Victim

"My lowest archetype is the "Victim". I feel I was in the victim for the early years of my teenage and adult life. I felt powerless and disconnected from life. I did what I was told but struggled with feeling controlled and abused by others.

"My environment did not reflect me or my values and yet I did not know how to change my circumstances. I married young and to a man who was a bully. I just handed all my power to him in exchange for “love”. Healing this archetype has carried me through a great distance and I have such empathy for others as they are struggling with the "Victim". Now when I feel the "Victim" come up in my life (such a familiar friend, really) it reminds me to reconnect with my own wisdom and power. Now those feelings direct me to re-connect with my strength, not my weakness.

"This early experience effects my work in massage therapy as I can recognize and relate to the "Victim" very easily.
The "Victim" is a teacher for me. When I see the "Victim" in my clients, I remember what it feels like to be stuck, disconnected from life force and hopeless.

"It also can really push my buttons when I work with a client who stays in the "Victim" and seems unwilling to move forward or make changes. I can tend to resist the victim so much due to my earlier experiences and I know that this is not a helpful or wise choice either. Being in balance would be to remain compassionate and open and keep clear boundaries when dealing with the "Victim".

This is a powerful description from a massage therapist who has used her own past experiences, though painful, to become more effective with "Victim" clients, while empowering herself to go to her strength rather than her weakness.

Tags: Victim

A participant in Ethics & Archetypes Home Study wrote about one of her clients who manifests the "Victim" archetype. She also became aware of her enabling behaviors when working with "Victim" clients. Notice how beautifully she describes the natural magnetism between "Victim" and "Rescuer". Here's what she says:

"One of the clients I’ve seen the most consistently as a client over the years is a true Victim, and I’d like to use her as an example since she’s the most extreme case.

This client was always telling me why she’s hurting and can’t get over it, and the reasons range from astrological cycles, old injuries (physical and mental), influences of her past lives on her present one, horrible economy, energies being out of balance, severe allergies that plague her and lower her immune system, chemicals in the water and aliens looking to take over the world, etc.

She almost never does any of the homework presented to her, and gets very resentful and lashes out when I’ve tried to offer solutions to her problems (even if a couple weeks later she finds another professional who says exactly the same thing).

In many ways she’s been one of my most frustrating clients to deal with, partially because she can be absolutely wonderful and sweet when she’s “on”, but then extremely combative and insufferable when she’s not.

Additionally, I’ve realized that throughout this Ethics course that traditionally the "Victim" archetype has been the hardest for me to deal with, not only in clients but in other people and friends as well. I think that historically Victims have simultaneously triggered my old Rescuer tendencies (obviously they’re in need of saving), but invariably it turns to resentment and irritation in me.

"I’ve been slow to realize that many of them are not just temporary Victims fallen down on their luck, but rather individuals that have carved out a space for themselves within this energy because they often feel safer (don’t need to risk anything because they automatically “know” it will fail) and they are able to get attention and pity for it from others.

"It seems to me now that for my "Rescuer" to come along and compulsively show them how to “fix” themselves and their situations was actually threatening to uproot this security and comfort, and thus they have either shut down further or lashed out at me (temporarily taking on the role of "Destroyer").

"My normal response (in the past) to this was to feel guilty, since I obviously wasn’t a good "Rescuer" if I couldn’t save them, and then to find excessive fault with how they were leading their lives. For interest of keeping my clientele I rarely lashed out at them, but instead turned my need to lash out upon myself ("Destroyer") which increased frustrations on both fronts and did myself a great deal of harm in the process.

"The funny thing about all of this is that since starting the Ethics & Archetypes course, I have finally realized that I have been enabling her (and many of the other Victims in my life), and have been able to take away my energy from them without the feelings of guilt that have accompanied these withdrawals in the past."

Tags: Victim

Several kinds of experiences can lead to the "Victim" becoming a companion to someone for many years, or even decades. This can occur during almost any stage of a person's life.

1. Much more intense victimization than the normal progression through teen years. Examples can be physical or emotional trauma, incest, rape, or being the victim of a violent crime. Serious health challenges can also cause someone to become frozen into the "Victim". In these instances, the person is literally a Victim, and with such deep wounds it can be very hard to overcome the Victim. Most people with these kinds of events in their history will need a lot of help along the way.

2. Having poor role models for healthy adult-hood. This happens frequently in dysfunctional families where there is addiction, violence, co-dependence, etc. The young person does not have the opportunity to observe functional adults on a regular basis.

3. Lack of healthy self-esteem. It is difficult to imagine someone with strong self-esteem becoming a victim. It is one of the main antidotes to falling into a cycle of Victim thinking when disaster strikes in one's life. On the other hand, someone with low self-esteem may feel victimized by insignificant and impersonal events, causing repeated Victim experiences until they permanently take on the personality of a victim.

The Ethics and Archetypes Home Study CE Course for massage therapists provides much information on dealing with the Victim client.

Stop in again in a few days for more on the Victim!

Tags: Victim

All of us have had some interactions with the "Victim", as a client, or a room-mate, or as a co-worker. And all of us have been through at least one "Victim" stage (for varying amounts of time!)

The "Victim" is an essential part of the human experience. The archetype of the "Victim" manages the transfer of power from a person's childhood caregiver to the person, herself. In a normal family (if such a thing exists) this usually happens during the teen years. The young person is gradually taking on more responsibility, is separating from her family of origin and shifting allegiance to the peer group and to her own emerging identity.

We all know about the "teen years"! Most people in this stage feel awkward in social settings, are trying to discover the way to act as an adult, and are totally caught up in the notion of their own power. They rebel against their parents. They try to fit in to a peer group at school. Some kids endure teasing or bullying from older kids, tougher kids, or a group from which they've been excluded. There have been at least two recent events in the national news of young kids, age 11 or 12, committing suicide because of the unbearable teasing and bullying at school. That is a pretty desperate way for someone to try to regain their power!

This is also a time when kids are vulnerable to gangs; in a group they have access to the group's power, an extremely attractive bait for youngsters who are craving self-esteem, and think they can gain some personal power through belonging to a group.

Sometimes the transfer of power goes very smoothly. Over a few teenage years, a person can take on her adult persona, complete with self-esteem and personal power. But many times, that transfer of power gets stalled. The person gets trapped in the victim stage, and remains dis-empowered well into the adult years.

Next time I will write about the things that may cause someone to get "stuck" in their Victim stage.

Tags: Victim