A participant in Ethics & Archetypes Home Study wrote about one of her clients who manifests the "Victim" archetype. She also became aware of her enabling behaviors when working with "Victim" clients. Notice how beautifully she describes the natural magnetism between "Victim" and "Rescuer". Here's what she says:

"One of the clients I’ve seen the most consistently as a client over the years is a true Victim, and I’d like to use her as an example since she’s the most extreme case.

This client was always telling me why she’s hurting and can’t get over it, and the reasons range from astrological cycles, old injuries (physical and mental), influences of her past lives on her present one, horrible economy, energies being out of balance, severe allergies that plague her and lower her immune system, chemicals in the water and aliens looking to take over the world, etc.

She almost never does any of the homework presented to her, and gets very resentful and lashes out when I’ve tried to offer solutions to her problems (even if a couple weeks later she finds another professional who says exactly the same thing).

In many ways she’s been one of my most frustrating clients to deal with, partially because she can be absolutely wonderful and sweet when she’s “on”, but then extremely combative and insufferable when she’s not.

Additionally, I’ve realized that throughout this Ethics course that traditionally the "Victim" archetype has been the hardest for me to deal with, not only in clients but in other people and friends as well. I think that historically Victims have simultaneously triggered my old Rescuer tendencies (obviously they’re in need of saving), but invariably it turns to resentment and irritation in me.

"I’ve been slow to realize that many of them are not just temporary Victims fallen down on their luck, but rather individuals that have carved out a space for themselves within this energy because they often feel safer (don’t need to risk anything because they automatically “know” it will fail) and they are able to get attention and pity for it from others.

"It seems to me now that for my "Rescuer" to come along and compulsively show them how to “fix” themselves and their situations was actually threatening to uproot this security and comfort, and thus they have either shut down further or lashed out at me (temporarily taking on the role of "Destroyer").

"My normal response (in the past) to this was to feel guilty, since I obviously wasn’t a good "Rescuer" if I couldn’t save them, and then to find excessive fault with how they were leading their lives. For interest of keeping my clientele I rarely lashed out at them, but instead turned my need to lash out upon myself ("Destroyer") which increased frustrations on both fronts and did myself a great deal of harm in the process.

"The funny thing about all of this is that since starting the Ethics & Archetypes course, I have finally realized that I have been enabling her (and many of the other Victims in my life), and have been able to take away my energy from them without the feelings of guilt that have accompanied these withdrawals in the past."

Tags: Victim