Keeping the "Victim" at Bay: Notes from an Ex-Victim
"I was not surprised to find that my lowest ranking archetype was the
victim. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am overly optimistic,
truly joyful and trusting to a fault. These are the benefits or advantages
of having very little "Victim" in me both personally and professionally.
I enjoy life and see the good parts of it readily. I have an innate trust in
the fact that everyone‚s life will, eventually, always work out for the
best, no matter what the circumstances are.
This must be great for my clients, for I truly enjoy my work, expect success and positive outcomes and
trust that they are doing the right thing by seeking me.
Although my victim ranks low, I realize that I was once a victim and that
it still lurks within me and will be profound in some clients. Personally
and professionally I must use caution in regard to settling, being too independent or
hiding one's own vulnerability; all of which I am guilty of.
I admit to having settled (for less than I am capable of, or deserve) both personally and professionally in the past and this kept me in these relationships even though I felt unhappy and unfulfilled. I
spent time and energy thinking something would change, but only in vain.
As an Aquarian/Victim, my independence has kept me from professional and
personal support for many situations. Hiding my vulnerability causes others
blindness to more soft, tender and compassionate aspects of my being.
I have tried to create better balance with the Victim archetype via the
introspection methods of spiritual development, body work and now
counseling. This helps to acknowledge the past without having it effect the
future. Also, it helps to accept the concept of interdependence- easily
overlooked.
In conclusion, this means I must: continue to remind myself to
allow others to help me or be close to me without fear of injury,
consequence or hurt and honor my vulnerability. For it is this that fosters
trust."
A Massage Therapist Talks About Her Battle with the "Victim"
"My environment did not reflect me or my values and yet I did not know how to change my circumstances. I married young and to a man who was a bully. I just handed all my power to him in exchange for “love”. Healing this archetype has carried me through a great distance and I have such empathy for others as they are struggling with the "Victim". Now when I feel the "Victim" come up in my life (such a familiar friend, really) it reminds me to reconnect with my own wisdom and power. Now those feelings direct me to re-connect with my strength, not my weakness.
"This early experience effects my work in massage therapy as I can recognize and relate to the "Victim" very easily.
The "Victim" is a teacher for me. When I see the "Victim" in my clients, I remember what it feels like to be stuck, disconnected from life force and hopeless.
"It also can really push my buttons when I work with a client who stays in the "Victim" and seems unwilling to move forward or make changes. I can tend to resist the victim so much due to my earlier experiences and I know that this is not a helpful or wise choice either. Being in balance would be to remain compassionate and open and keep clear boundaries when dealing with the "Victim".
This is a powerful description from a massage therapist who has used her own past experiences, though painful, to become more effective with "Victim" clients, while empowering herself to go to her strength rather than her weakness.
A Massage Therapist Talks about a "Victim" Client
A
participant in Ethics &
Archetypes Home Study wrote
about one of her clients who manifests the
"Victim" archetype. She also became aware of her
enabling behaviors when working with "Victim"
clients. Notice how beautifully she describes the
natural magnetism between "Victim" and "Rescuer".
Here's what she says:
"One of
the clients I’ve seen the most consistently as a
client over the years is a true Victim, and I’d like
to use her as an example since she’s the most extreme
case.
This client was always telling me why she’s hurting
and can’t get over it, and the reasons range from
astrological cycles, old injuries (physical and
mental), influences of her past lives on her present
one, horrible economy, energies being out of balance,
severe allergies that plague her and lower her immune
system, chemicals in the water and aliens looking to
take over the world, etc.
She almost never does any of the homework presented
to her, and gets very resentful and lashes out when
I’ve tried to offer solutions to her problems (even
if a couple weeks later she finds another
professional who says exactly the same thing).
In many ways she’s been one of my most frustrating
clients to deal with, partially because she can be
absolutely wonderful and sweet when she’s “on”, but
then extremely combative and insufferable when she’s
not.
Additionally, I’ve realized that throughout
this Ethics
course that
traditionally the "Victim" archetype has been the
hardest for me to deal with, not only in clients
but in other people and friends as well. I think
that historically Victims have simultaneously
triggered my old Rescuer tendencies (obviously
they’re in need of saving), but invariably it
turns to resentment and irritation in me.
"I’ve been slow to realize that many of them are not
just temporary Victims fallen down on their luck, but
rather individuals that have carved out a space for
themselves within this energy because they often feel
safer (don’t need to risk anything because they
automatically “know” it will fail) and they are able
to get attention and pity for it from others.
"It seems to me now that for my "Rescuer" to come
along and compulsively show them how to “fix”
themselves and their situations was actually
threatening to uproot this security and comfort, and
thus they have either shut down further or lashed out
at me (temporarily taking on the role of
"Destroyer").
"My normal response (in the past) to this was to feel
guilty, since I obviously wasn’t a good "Rescuer" if
I couldn’t save them, and then to find excessive
fault with how they were leading their lives. For
interest of keeping my clientele I rarely lashed out
at them, but instead turned my need to lash out upon
myself ("Destroyer") which increased frustrations on
both fronts and did myself a great deal of harm in
the process.
"The funny thing about all of this is that since
starting the Ethics &
Archetypes course, I
have finally realized that I have been enabling
her (and many of the other Victims in my life),
and have been able to take away my energy from
them without the feelings of guilt that have
accompanied these withdrawals in the past."
How to Create a Victim
Several
kinds of experiences can lead to the "Victim"
becoming a companion to someone for many years, or
even decades. This can occur during almost any stage
of a person's life.
1. Much more intense victimization than the normal
progression through teen years. Examples can be
physical or emotional trauma, incest, rape, or being
the victim of a violent crime. Serious health
challenges can also cause someone to become frozen
into the "Victim". In these instances, the person is
literally a Victim, and with such deep wounds it can
be very hard to overcome the Victim. Most people with
these kinds of events in their history will need a
lot of help along the way.
2. Having poor role models for healthy adult-hood.
This happens frequently in dysfunctional families
where there is addiction, violence, co-dependence,
etc. The young person does not have the opportunity
to observe functional adults on a regular basis.
3. Lack of healthy self-esteem. It is difficult to
imagine someone with strong self-esteem becoming a
victim. It is one of the main antidotes to falling
into a cycle of Victim thinking when disaster strikes
in one's life. On the other hand, someone with low
self-esteem may feel victimized by insignificant and
impersonal events, causing repeated Victim
experiences until they permanently take on the
personality of a victim.
The Ethics and
Archetypes Home Study CE Course
for
massage therapists provides much information on
dealing with the Victim client.
Stop in again in a few days for more on the Victim!
Meet the Victim: An Important Phase in Everyone's Life (But Some People Get Stuck)
All of us
have had some interactions with the "Victim", as a
client, or a room-mate, or as a co-worker. And all of
us have been through at least one "Victim" stage (for
varying amounts of time!)
The "Victim" is an essential part of the human
experience. The archetype of the "Victim" manages the
transfer of power from a person's childhood caregiver
to the person, herself. In a normal family (if such a
thing exists) this usually happens during the teen
years. The young person is gradually taking on more
responsibility, is separating from her family of
origin and shifting allegiance to the peer group and
to her own emerging identity.
We all know about the "teen years"! Most people in
this stage feel awkward in social settings, are
trying to discover the way to act as an adult, and
are totally caught up in the notion of their own
power. They rebel against their parents. They try to
fit in to a peer group at school. Some kids endure
teasing or bullying from older kids, tougher kids, or
a group from which they've been excluded. There have
been at least two recent events in the national news
of young kids, age 11 or 12, committing suicide
because of the unbearable teasing and bullying at
school. That is a pretty desperate way for someone to
try to regain their power!
This is also a time when kids are vulnerable to
gangs; in a group they have access to the group's
power, an extremely attractive bait for youngsters
who are craving self-esteem, and think they can gain
some personal power through belonging to a group.
Sometimes the transfer of power goes very smoothly.
Over a few teenage years, a person can take on her
adult persona, complete with self-esteem and personal
power. But many times, that transfer of power gets
stalled. The person gets trapped in the victim stage,
and remains dis-empowered well into the adult years.
Next time I will write about the things that may
cause someone to get "stuck" in their Victim stage.
My "Rescuer" and an Insignificant Little Rabbit
A couple
of months ago, in March 09, a friend and I had a
memorable experience with the
"Rescuer". (I've
done several posts on the
"Rescuer Archetype", you may
want to review). We were going home from a
music-playing event on a Sunday evening, just as it
was getting dark. It was still very much winter in
Minnesota, and getting dark about 6 or 6:30 PM.
As we were just about to pull out onto the main
street, a little cottontail rabbit came running
across the main road toward us. A car was speeding
along and hit the rabbit, just grazing it... it
rolled into a little ball in the middle of the road,
and I put the car in park and started to get out to
go and rescue the bunny.
In the span of 2 or 3 seconds, he seemed to recover a
bit, adrenaline rushing, and he took off again toward
the side of the road where we were. He was obviously
lame but was really trying hard to get to safety.
Before he could get to the side, or we could
intervene in any way, another car came along and the
rabbit was hit a second time. That was a pretty good
hit to his hind quarters... one more second and he
would have made it to safety. But he was one second
too slow, and that blow was too much.
My friend and I rushed over to the bunny and scooped
him up, and as I held him, he was still very warm and
I could feel the life force leaving his broken little
body. His huge brown eyes were wide open, but his
spirit had already left.
Now what? We both instantly agreed that we could not
leave him on the road to be run over again and again,
nor could we just toss his lifeless body into a
dumpster or into the shrubbery along the side of the
road.
We had witnessed and participated in something very
extraordinary. Though it was a totally ordinary and
insignificant little rabbit in one way, it became
very significant to us. Witnessing life giving way to
death is an extraordinary event.
We had stepped forward to attempt to rescue the
little fellow, and though we were 2 seconds too late,
we had committed to a relationship and we agreed that
we now had an obligation to follow through and give a
little rabbit who had suddenly popped into our lives
a proper send-off.
There was an old towel on the floor in the back of
the car, so we put the lifeless little bunny on that
and then drove on, thinking about what to do next. In
Minnesota, the ground is frozen several inches deep
in March. The lakes were still being used for ice
fishing, so we knew we wouldn't have a chance of
digging a hole in the ground to bury the rabbit. We
had already ruled out the notion of putting him in a
dumpster; he deserved more regard than that. We
considered burying him under some snow until things
warmed up, but figured that scavengers would find his
little body, and we didn't want that. So my friend
said that he would make a fire the next day and
cremate him, and have a little ceremony.
The next day he emailed me to tell me that he had
done this, and we discussed it a little. It had been
on my mind. Not the least of all the questions it
brought up for me was a) why we felt compelled to
rescue him in the first place, and b) why we felt a
relationship with the rabbit, even though the whole
encounter from when we first saw him until he was
dead in my hands was only a minute, and c) why we
felt an obligation to give him a proper send-off. I
have also wondered what would have happened if we had
gotten to him after the first hit, when he likely
could have survived but would have needed veterinary
care and follow-up nursing. Would we have had the
commitment to invest that much in a little rabbit?
What is the value of life? Especially for a creature
that is a member of a very common species and many
regard as a pest when it nibbles away their
springtime flowers and summertime garden produce.
I really thought a lot about that, and I realized
that one factor that made this so powerful was how
hard that little rabbit was trying to stay alive. He
had just survived a hard Minnesota winter, one of the
coldest in 10 or 15 years. He was thin, but he had
made it somehow. He was hit by a car, injured but not
fatally, and still kept trying to get to the other
side, to get to safety.
I admire honest effort, and I know I have struggled
with many efforts in many contexts. Some have been
successful, and many of my efforts have failed.
Sometimes, when a being is struggling and making
effort against all odds, it deserves a little
grace......A totally unearned and unexpected act of
kindness or generosity from out of the blue. That
little rabbit needed a little grace. I regret that we
were a moment too late.
He reminded us of something else of great
importance.... how quickly we can go from life to
death, surrendering all our efforts and leaving
behind nothing but a carcass that somebody needs to
take care of. Life is precious and fragile. We are
always just a heartbeat away from our death, and we
never know which heartbeat it might be. We all hope
when it is our time to go, someone will care enough
to give us a decent send-off.
Thanks, Little Rabbit, for the reminders.
Ethics & Archetypes Course
If you find this discussion interesting, you'll enjoy the Ethics & Archetypes: Roles and Boundaries for Somatic Therapists course for your continuing education (CE, CEU, PDA) requirement for NCBTMB or NCCAOM. You'll get the self-test that helps you identify your ranking of 8 archetypes (Child, Victim, Destroyer, Seeker, Nurturer, Rescuer, Magician and Sage). The 6-hour program has 4 audio CD's and a course manual with lots of information and ideas about working with archetypes as a way to understand your clients' inner dynamics and be more effective with them, whilc maintaining appropriate professional boundaries. Massage therapists, acupuncturists, and other somatic therapists will enjoy and benefit from the course! Order Ethics & Archetypes!
Time to "Just Say No" to the Rescuer
As
bodyworkers and somatic practitioners, our
relationship with our clients is very different than
what I described in the previous entry for people in
rescuing professions. In professional rescuing
occupations there are many elements built into the
system to preserve appropriate boundaries between
rescuer and rescuee.
The typical bodyworker who gets into a "Rescuer" mode
with a client will be working with that client over a
period of time, maybe even a very extended period of
time. We get to know our clients very well, so we
lose the impersonal relationship that EMT's or
fire-fighters have. They do not usually know their
clients! And the bodyworker who falls into Rescuing
habits is probably doing more emotional rescuing than
life-saving rescuing. We are not trained to do
counseling or psychotherapy, so we are clearly
crossing an important boundary if we get into this
emotional relationship with a client.
What can we do to break a "Rescuer" habit?
1. Name it. Admit to yourself that you are a
"Rescuer".
2. Try to understand what the appeal of this is for
you. Does it make you forget about your own problems
when you are emotionally rescuing a client? Does it
stroke your ego that they turn to you for rescuing?
3. Recognize your internal signals that a boundary is
in danger. Do you "feel sorry" for a client? Do you
feel an adrenaline rush that you can "fix" their
suffering? Do they pull at your heart-strings like a
wounded child or hurt animal? Do you have difficulty
getting them off your mind, even between sessions?
Figure out what your own signals are.
4. Remind yourself of your professional boundaries,
appropriate language and touch, and the other
resources you have to offer this client... referrals
to a counselor or other professional, or even to a
different massage therapist.
5. Remind yourself of the possible consequences of
engaging in rescuing. Somebody will probably get
hurt. At best, you will keep the client stuck and
dependent in a Victim role.
6. Talk to a mentor or colleague about the situation;
learn additional strategies and get
advice.
Is Healthy Rescuing Possible?
There are
professions whose purpose is rescuing. Emergency room
physicians and nurses, EMT medics, fire-fighters,
suicide hot-line workers, child protection social
workers, and first responders of all kinds. These
professionals are an integral part of a progressive
society. Perhaps we can look at them to answer the
question "Is Healthy Rescuing Possible?"
Lets look at a few characteristics of these
professions.
1) They are specifically trained/educated to offer
effective interventions to someone who needs
rescuing, whether it is a medical emergency, a fire,
a natural disaster, or some other situation where
there are individuals whose lives would be at risk,
or they would at least experience great harm were it
not for the rescuer.
2) They only rescue someone once. The entire rescuing
relationship is usually very brief. Even the
emergency room staff passes the patient along to
another branch of the hospital, or releases them,
within a few hours. There is NOT an ongoing
relationship between the rescuer and rescuee.
3) Emergency rescue personnel do not rescue people
they know personally, at least not in their
professional capacity.
4) No matter how compassionate the rescuer is, they
maintain appropriate emotional boundaries with the
rescuee; the short duration of the rescuing situation
helps to insure this detachment.
5) Rescue professionals rescue others from physical
danger and bodily harm mostly. They do not usually do
emotional rescuing. Other professionals will be
brought in to deal with the emotional fall-out that
can occur subsequent to an accident, natural
disaster, or other event in which someone is rescued.
In the next entry, we will compare these factors to
the way the typical massage therapist works with
her/his clients.
Overcoming the "Rescuer": Meeting People Where They Are in Their Journey
In
the Ethics &
Archetypes Home Study Course,
participants take a survey at the beginning to
determine which archetypes are active and which
are not. Here's an excerpt from a massage
therapist who had the "Rescuer" as her lowest
ranking archetype.
She is right on target when she comments about
"Rescuers" attracting "Victims". They are magnetic to
each other, because each needs the other to act out
it's archetypal identity. If you seem to have a lot
of "Victims" coming to you for massage therapy, you
may have a bit more "Rescuer" than you'd think!
Here's what she says:
"My lowest ranking archetype is the ‘Rescuer’. I
believe that because I do not subscribe to the
Rescuer’s tendency to want to fix people, nor do I
believe that I know what is best for the client
I rarely attract what I feel like is the counterpart
of this archetype – the Victim- into my life and
practice. Instead I feel like I am often able to
grasp multiple truths, especially as they relate to
each individual’s experience. Though I still continue
to work on this, I have created a lot of growth for
myself in accepting and meeting people where they are
in their journey."
This is a wonderful testimony for the changes that
can happen in your massage practice when you begin to
work from the more empowered archetypes of "Seeker",
"Magician", or "Sage."
So how does one "meet them where they are?" The first
component is to understand where YOU are in your
journey. Many times people who are just entering into
"Seeker" have remnants of their old un-empowered
archetypes around for a long time. The client may not
be as far along as you, and you have to let that be
ok.
The second component is to trust that healing is
already going on, and will continue long after you
and the client go your separate ways. The small bit
of energy you can add to the client's healing is just
a drop in the ocean compared to all the other forces
that are acting on his/her life!
The third component is keeping your boundaries
intact. Many times, rescuing behavior is a result of
counter-transference. That is, something about the
client triggers your unfinished business, and brings
out your "Rescuer".
The "Rescuer": A Therapist Remembers
"My lowest score on the archetype self-test was "the Rescuer". I am quite happy about that. I have done a lot of Rescuing in my life and am glad it holds a low score in my life now. I now realize that others must find their own way and for me to mother them or offer more help or treatment than is necessary, is really a disservice to another human.
In the past, I realize that I have taken the "Rescuer" stance on an unconscious level so that I did not have the time or energy to look at my own problems and solve them for myself. I know that I resent anyone telling me something I already know and I believe we already know what needs doing in our lives. It was insulting to do for another what they could do for themselves. By rescuing I said that I didn't have confidence in them to take care of themselves.
I am grateful for the insight looking at this archetype has given me. I feel that the psychological interaction between client and healer is key and I am eager to always learn anything that will help me do a better job."
The "Rescuer" Archetype: Pathway to Burnout for Somatic Practitioners
You know the "Rescuer" is lurking when you tell yourself (or the client) that you can solve his/her problems and take away all his/her suffering by providing bodywork, acupuncture, manipulations, or any other somatic therapy. That may sound like exactly what we are supposed to be doing, otherwise, why are we in the profession? But there's a catch...
Consider.... we REALLY don't know to what degree we can induce changes with our work until we have done at least one session for the person. There are many factors that effect the outcome of treatment, and most of them are beyond our control. We have all had the experience of doing everything that "should" work, and it doesn't, even though the same techniques have been successful with numerous previous clients.
"The Rescuer" can be very sneaky. You may have to really study yourself to realize that it is directing you in ways that can lead to disappointment, boundary issues, and even lost clients.
You'll know the "Rescuer" is driving you when any of the following things happen:
1. You feel an obligation to create change, even before you've assessed or worked on the client
2. You feel like you have failed or let him down if you are unable to produce change
3. There's a sense of urgency regarding the client
4. You are tempted to cross professional boundaries with the client
5. You visualize how grateful they will be to you when they are "healed"
6. You are tempted to work too hard, too long, too deep, in your effort to produce results, even though it may not be appropriate for the person
7. You get a "high" from someone saying that you have made them feel much better, and you seek that "high" from future clients.
8. You feel competitive with other therapists in the sense that you can get people better faster than they can
9. Making people feel better is a way of boosting your self-worth or ego
The "Rescuer" shows up when you are doing bodywork with a hidden agenda involving feeling better about yourself or trying to prove something to the rest of the world.
Because it inherently produces boundary violations and wrong interpretations of the role of the therapist, it leads to frustration, burn-out, and ineffective therapy. It makes the client dependent, needy, and disempowered. Not a good formula for successful practice over many years.
Next time I will write more about the "Rescuer" and share some therapist experiences with this fascinating archetype.
The Seeker Seems to Seek Out the Massage Therapist
"I began my seeking 31 years ago studying and practicing the 8 limbs of Pantanjali yoga as well as reading such books as Gerald Heard’s, ‘Five Ages Of Man’ hoping to find the answer with the turn of each page and the hundreds of
books and thousands of pages after that.
I can recall numerous phases and stages including LSD, Cannabis, Primal Therapy, Gestalt therapy, Rogerian Therapy, Primal Birth Regression, Bio energetic, Core Enegetics, Rolfing, Hellerwork Grof breath work, craniopathy, Tibetan vajrayana yoga as well as 26 years of having hands-on healing work from many practitioners of many modalities.
When I took the survey with the Ethics & Archetypes home study course, my highest ranking archetype was the "Sage" but if I had taken it 31 years ago the numbers of sage / seeker would have been reversed.
In my professional life today, I believe that I embody the best qualities of both Seeker and Sage. It was the guidance of the Seeker over three decades that has helped me to develop the necessary perspectives and knowledge, especially self-knowledge, to be therapist and healer.
These archetypes are teaching me that life is an intuitive process set within the seemingly solid matrix of time."
Readers are welcome to email questions or comments! sunny@lifecircles-inc.com
The Seeker Archetype: Another Massage Therapist's Experience
"The Seeker was my highest-ranking archetype from the self-assessment in the home study course.
In addition to the self-help books and explorations of the different massage modalities I got involved in Tarot and later Wicca, and all sorts of different energy work. I actively sought the answers to what exactly was the energy I was working with and how did it tie into the Divine.
I think I’ve done a good job of transcending a lot of the problems with the "Seeker" archetype (need to be right all the time and the depressions and emotional instability that I now see are a normal part of the Seeker energy), and am much more likely to have fun with the journey and not be to convinced that I have ALL the answers.
In addition, the more I study and understand what I see as the Universal energy and presence, the closer I feel to others and the environment, and the more I want to take care of them. This has broadened my perspective as a massage therapist and a person. Thank You Seeker!"
If you would like to order the Ethics & Archetypes Home Study CE course, go to the Order Form! Thank You!
The Seeker Archetype: What the Heck is it Seeking??
"My highest archetype is the Seeker. I feel I have been in this phase for the past several years in my life. I am constantly growing and learning and expanding my awareness through workshops, reading, and studying. This has been true of my professional life too as I have added to my work and credentials over the past five years at an exponential level.
During this class, I began to wonder, what am I seeking? What drives me to such a feeling of growth, desire for learning?
Personally speaking, I feel I am seeking healing and personal growth. I have moved through some major obstacles and developed spiritually so much in the past five years. The seeking has led me to powerful teachers and awareness.
Professionally, I have been on the seeker path in order to make my work a more clear expression of myself and my values. It has grown as I have grown!
I am learning so much from the Seeker. This energy has carried me out of feeling stuck and into action and a sense of hope about myself and my life. I feel more empowered, aware and connected."
This massage therapist has expressed a wonderful summary of the ways the "Seeker" can change our perspectives on ourselves and on our work as practitioners. How is the "Seeker" guiding you and your practice?
Eeeny Meanie Miney Moe; How Do We Get Our Archetypes?
1) Some are probably universal to everyone, and teach us basic survival lessons. The "Child" and the "Victim" are two of these that are discussed in the course. They represent our process of going from disempowerment to empowerment as we grow up. The problem occurs when we don't learn the lessons they teach, and remain disempowered!
2) We seem to be born with certain archetypes. In the previous entry, I wrote about my relationship with the “Teacher”, and how it has been a constant theme for me since an early age. It is often easy to see archetypes in young children. Some are obvious “Leaders”, or “Nurturers” or “Artists.” If you spend time with kids, it can be fun to watch their archetypes emerge and “grow up” with the child. Look for all the ways they guide the child’s life.
3) We get some archetypes by going through rituals and initiations. For example, I tell the students at the school where I teach that our school’s orientation ceremony is actually inducting them into the archetype of “Student”. Students everywhere have certain things in common. Learning is a transformational process, involving interactions with the learning material, other students, and instructors or facilitators. Being a “Student” carries certain expectations and obligations. At the end of their formal studies, another ceremony called Graduation will conclude their relationship with the “Student” and they will be handed off to the archetype of “Professional”. The expectations, roles, boundaries, and lessons are different in each one.
4) Another way we can acquire an archetype may be by requesting or inviting it into our life. When one decides to begin a spiritual practice, they may be inviting an archetype in… perhaps the “Healer”, the “Sage” or the “Magician”. I’m actually undecided about this method, because I’ve known many people (self included) who tried to invite an archetype and it just didn’t work. Are there any other ways that archetypes come into our lives that readers can think of?
Get the Audio Recordings of Ethics & Archetypes!
How Many Archetypes? Ten? Twenty? 100? Maybe More?
I’ll give an example from my own experience. Apparently I have the archetype of the “Teacher.” My relationship with this archetype began when I started school at age 6. I loved school! I thought my teachers were fabulous! I worked hard and did well in school; putting me in school was like putting a fish into water.
When I was 8 or 9 years old, my younger brother was about 4, a pre-schooler. Every day when I came home from school, we would go into our basement where we always did a lot of our playing, and we played school. I was the teacher and he was the “class”. We had a little wooden school desk that he would sit at, and I had a blackboard and some chalk. I would get the extra mimeograph papers of our school exercises and projects from my teacher, and we used those in our play school. Whatever I learned in school that day or week, we covered in my afternoon teaching of play school with my little brother. By the time he started first grade, he had completed 4th grade at our play school!
When I was in high school, my mother suggested that I should become a teacher. It didn’t interest me at the time because I wasn't attracted to teaching children and I didn't realize that one could become an adult educator, However, when I was about 16 or 17 I was involved in a summer Bible study class with younger kids, where I would take my guitar and teach them folk songs as a way to keep them interested and having fun. That was alot of fun, and I somehow naturally figured out how to "plan a lesson". I chose songs to teach them, wrote out the lyrics for them to learn, and planned review of songs we had already been working on.
It wasn’t until many years later, in graduate school as a teaching assistant, and still later in massage school, that I realized my place for teaching was in adult education. The archetype of the "Teacher" has been with me from a very young age, and I continue to find a great deal of enjoyment through creating courses, leading a class, and facilitating change, growth, and expanding students’ bubbles! I have several other archetypes that have been major guides for my life.
Maybe you are curious about your own archetypes. You probably have at least one or two that have been with you from an early age. Think about the things that you have been attracted to since you were young and are still very prominent in your life. Did you become absorbed in coloring books and finger paints and drawing and compulsively create pretty things? Maybe you have the "Artist". Did you love races against other kids, climbing on the jungle jim, playing kick ball? Maybe you have the "Athlete". Did you play dress-up and put on makeup and create skits and plays? Maybe you have the "Actor/Actress". Did you figure out ways to make money with a lemonade stand, baby-sitting, or making something to sell? Maybe you are an "Entrepreneur".
I hope you have gotten some interesting ideas and new understanding of your self by reading today's entry!
What Good Are Archetypes?
Archetypes are universal energy patterns that we can all relate to. An example of an archetype is the "Leader". Leaders exist in all cultures throughout the history of human-kind. Natural leaders have certain traits and characteristics where ever you find them; they can't help but gravitate into leadership roles, even if they resist! Of course some people who end up in leadership roles don't necessarily have the archetype of the "Leader", and they may be ineffective leaders, or even corrupt leaders. The role of the "Leader" includes guiding those who are led into effective and empowering ways of living.
Because archetypes are universal, we can study and learn about them outside our personal experience. By looking at these patterns in a detached way, we can gain clarity first and then apply that clarity to illuminate our life experiences.
In bodywork practice, there are several archetypes we run in to all the time! We have all known many “Victim” and “Child” types; we know the discomfort and upset they can generate when they hook into our tendency to rescue or nurture. They can create all kinds of havoc with our boundaries, emotions, and ethics! The Ethics and Archetypes course provides a good basis for identifying the archetypes in our clients and ourselves, so we can begin to recognize the patterns in our clients (and ourselves) from a few early clues.
It is much easier to maintain appropriate professional and personal boundaries if we can see the situation developing before we get hooked in. And the better we get at this, the more effective (and happy) we can be in our massage and bodywork practices!
Archetypes for Massage & Bodywork: Know Your Power!
This is the first installment of a blog to explore some of the questions and issues that have emerged from participants in the Ethics & Archetypes course.
I'd like to invite massage and bodywork therapists to share your ideas and experiences involving ethics, boundaries, and archetypes in the therapy room. I'm new at blogging, so I haven't figured out how to set it up so that visitors can make comments. But you can email your questions or comments to me, and I'll post them manually.
Over time, I would also like to introduce topics relating to some of the other CE courses I offer, such as Traditional Chinese Medicine, Acupoint energetics, and Fibromyalgia.