All of us have had some interactions with the "Victim", as a client, or a room-mate, or as a co-worker. And all of us have been through at least one "Victim" stage (for varying amounts of time!)

The "Victim" is an essential part of the human experience. The archetype of the "Victim" manages the transfer of power from a person's childhood caregiver to the person, herself. In a normal family (if such a thing exists) this usually happens during the teen years. The young person is gradually taking on more responsibility, is separating from her family of origin and shifting allegiance to the peer group and to her own emerging identity.

We all know about the "teen years"! Most people in this stage feel awkward in social settings, are trying to discover the way to act as an adult, and are totally caught up in the notion of their own power. They rebel against their parents. They try to fit in to a peer group at school. Some kids endure teasing or bullying from older kids, tougher kids, or a group from which they've been excluded. There have been at least two recent events in the national news of young kids, age 11 or 12, committing suicide because of the unbearable teasing and bullying at school. That is a pretty desperate way for someone to try to regain their power!

This is also a time when kids are vulnerable to gangs; in a group they have access to the group's power, an extremely attractive bait for youngsters who are craving self-esteem, and think they can gain some personal power through belonging to a group.

Sometimes the transfer of power goes very smoothly. Over a few teenage years, a person can take on her adult persona, complete with self-esteem and personal power. But many times, that transfer of power gets stalled. The person gets trapped in the victim stage, and remains dis-empowered well into the adult years.

Next time I will write about the things that may cause someone to get "stuck" in their Victim stage.

Tags: Victim